The Wedding Photographer
Stories seem to only happen after a traumatic event. The wedding planner’s life changed when she was saved from a death by squishing, and the wedding singer’s life dramatically changed when his girlfriend dumped him because “he wasn’t good enough for her” to quote Avril Lavigne. In the end, both the planner and the singer got to be with people they should have been with because those people were with people they shouldn’t have been with in the first place.
This is going to sound crazy, well, maybe not crazy, but just trite. I’m a wedding photographer, an over-educated (undergrad in marketing and master’s in psychology – though I remember nothing from any of those classes) old-maid running around other people’s wedding with a 6-kilo bag of equipment to take pictures of an event that is supposed to mark the first day of a couple’s “happily ever after”.
To be an optimist, no couple I’ve shot for has yet to file for divorce. To be a pessimist, I’ve really only been doing this for a few months.
I left my job at Ballen College as a Career Counsellor after I got engaged to my boyfriend at the time… to plan for our wedding and to get ready to move in with him. For some strange reason, I was more stressed out than I had ever been in my entire life! They make it seem so easy in the movies: after the protagonists overcome all their misunderstandings and realize how much they actually love each other, they madly throw all caution to the wind and get together. Ben and I never had to overcome such adversities – we met, kind of liked each other and started going out. We were very different, certainly, but I learned to appreciate Tchaikovsky, Perlman and Rachmoninov. In the meantime, he learned to bike, swim and play racquet sports. In any case, he proposed, I accepted and he proceeded to drive me up the wall during the planning of our wedding.
I wanted something small, simple and fun. In fact, I would have been thrilled if we could fly to Vegas, do a Rachel and Ross thing with the King. Then, I would throw a party at my favourite Chinese buffet restaurant for our friends. The family banquet back in Hong Kong would be something I’m only willing to suffer for my parents’ and Grandma’s sake.
While dealing with the wedding plans, I realized that I could not stand being idle and focusing only on one project – which felt like a silly project to me in the first place. So I took my side hobby (photography) and the project on hand (my wedding) – married them and started my own business. Eh voila.
For the first two months, I had one wedding per month (for cheap!). As word got around, and I started honing my style and gear, more people wanted me to shoot their weddings.
After the 10th wedding shot, it became very clear to me that I preferred being on THIS side of the veil, rather than the other. Deep in this thought, I accidentally ran a red light and a very large Jeep Grand Cheroke T-boned me. I would love to say that the man who jumped out to yell obscenities at me was actually the one I was meant to be with, or that the very handsome, very young police officer who took my statement with such compassion that I fell in love with him and he with me. No, nothing, no such luck. My car was towed, I was charged with careless driving and my fiancé was very supportive.
In my story, there is no Joan Cusack sidekick, there is no buddy Billy Crystal who pulls me through breakups… just a fiancé that I didn’t really want to marry.
Actually, it wasn’t that I didn’t want to marry him – I just didn’t really want to get married! I just… didn’t… want to… be… in a… relationship!!
“Whoa!” I managed to pull myself out of that reverie before I totaled the rental car my insurance company arranged for me.
Everyone noticed that I was a bit distant after the accident and they were helpful in their own ways… John and Martha took me out for dinner, Samantha called me every other day and Jody, well, Jody helped me make sure that I didn’t burn down my condo. She’d make a better wife than I ever would. What am I thinking? I can’t even take care of myself, how in the world could I ever hope to take care of a family?!
At this point in time, I had to stop the car and breathe deeply to catch some oxygen for the brain, so I pulled over to a Loblaw’s parking lot and sat there in stunned silence.
Did I love him? Yes, I did. Did I want to be with him? No. Wow. I didn’t want him at all. But I love him enough to know him well and know that he should be with someone who would be good for him. Yeowch. That was the strangest feeling I’d ever had in my life! Did I think Jody would be the right person? Weirdly… yes!
I started the engine and drove home; I changed into something very plain and called him. I cooked his favourite dishes and waited for him to come to my place for dinner.
We had a pleasant dinner, per usual. He smiled at the apple pie.
“French vanilla Hagaan Daaz no less! What’s the special occasion?” He looked at my face and stopped smiling. “No. don’t do it. No, not the same way you did with your first boyfriend. Sweetie. No.”
I took a deep breath and took off the 2 carat diamond ring, placed it in his right hand and closed it with both my hands. “There’s someone else that deserves this more. You’d be happier with her.”
“What?! What the hell is going on?”
“Listen sweetie, I love you too much to marry you. You’d be better off with Jody.”
“WHAT?! I don’t understand what is going on here. Seriously. This is not funny.”
“I can’t marry you. You should get to know her better, you know. I think you guys will find that you guys belong together.”
“Why? Did she say something to you? This is ridiculous. I don’t think she thinks of me that way and I sure as hell don’t think of her in that way! What in the world is going on in that head of yours? Oh. Is this what they call cold feet? Are you just freaking out? Sweetie, this too will pass.”
“No. This is not going to pass. Over the past few months, I think I’ve been stressed out because I don’t want this even though I love you to pieces.”
“Small consolation,” he sighed.
“This accident, where I nearly killed myself with my stupidity, made me realize that we can’t do this to each other because life is too short.”
“I know life is short – and I want to spend the rest of mine with you! I thought you wanted the same!”
I shook my head slowly, gave him 2 boxes of his stuff and gently walked him out the door. I picked up my cordless Panasonic phone and speed-dialed Jody’s number.
“Jody dear. Can you do me a favour?”
“Sure babe, you want me to come over?”
“No. I just called off the wedding and need you to –“
“What!?”
“- help me take care of Ben.”
“WHAT?!”
“He’ll be fine, but he’ll need a good friend, and –“
“What!? NO!?”
“- I know you’ll be able to take care of him the way he needs.”
“This is just too weird. What happened? Why? Are you okay? Why? Why?”
“I’ll talk to you about this later. Can you call him? He should be home in about 5 minutes.”
“Wait! Don’t do anything drastic… don’t call anything off yet – I’m sure you guys can sort anything out because you are both such fantastic people.”
“I know hon, but just because we’re both fantastic people doesn’t mean we’re meant to be together. Anyway, please just give him a call and maybe hang out with him for awhile, okay?”
“Sure, anything. You alright? I’d rather come see you.”
“No babe, thanks, but I do need you to take care of Ben for awhile, please.”
“Uh, right then. I’ll call him now.”
“Thanks Jode, nite babe.” I proceeded to pack up my equipment for my assignment the next day. It was for a typical Taiwanese couple – the girl was cutsie and the boy was nerdy. They wanted to have photos ready for the banquet so I got them a deal with the gown rental, the flowers and my photography.
The next day, I buried myself in work; the outdoor shots at the University of Toronto went well.
The indoor shots at my studio took longer than I preferred and the vibrating of my cell phone call day did not help my concentration. I finally pulled the phone out and put in my camera bag. My assistant for this project, John, answered his cell phone, “Hello? Uh, yeah… quite. It’s not going as smoothly as usual… Really? Oh. That might explain…” he glanced at me and walked out of the studio into my office, shutting the door behind him.
The flash went off and the shoot was finally over. The cute couple offered to take me out for dinner, but I declined. I went home and ignored my flashing answering machine. Then I sat down and made a list of all the things I had to do in order to call off all the arrangements with the least amount of disruption.
One year afterwards, I sat at a lovely wedding table, itching to take the photos for Ben and Jody’s wedding. It was a bit strange for everyone involved, but Ben and Jody handled it well. I was slightly annoyed that I wasn’t the photographer, but ended up enjoying the banquet because I knew most of the guests. I refused to look at the photographer though, because I knew that it would just aggravate me.
I got up to pay a visit to the little girls’ room. Some idiot stepped on the tail of my dress and I toppled backwards into his arms.
“Oh my God! I’m so sorry! Are you okay?” he gasped as he righted me.
“Yeah, you caught me. Kudos. Good thing you didn’t rip anything – otherwise I’d be extremely upset and I’d rip… your… pants.” As I looked down at him more closely, “Hey, you’re not dressed up – are you crashing this party?” I know people, you know, I could get you thrown out, you know…”
He smiled and replied, “So lady, how can I buy you off? You bribable?” He leaned in, put his right arm around me to gently guide me out the door.
I smiled at him, shook my head and waved off his help. “Nope! But I tell you what. I’ll head over to the washrooms and if you’re gone by the time I get back, I won’t tell on you!” I turned and walked out laughing.
I freshened up in the washroom, smiled politely at some of Ben’s relatives and went back to my seat. That’s when I saw him again – in front of Ben and Jody’s head table – taking their photos! I could tell that he was good, the timing, the lighting and the framing. He caught some wonderful natural shots of Ben and Jody looking at each other lovingly.
He turned around, saw me watching him and winked at me. That’s when he got me. I had a strange warm feeling at the pit of my stomach. I couldn’t stop looking at him – this must be what they mean by love at first sight? I could not believe how I could allow such irrationality to even enter my mind! I didn’t if he was free, not gay or even intelligent! I watched him laugh, work the crowd and do his job – a total pro.
Ben came up to me, “Hey there sweetie pie, so glad you could come,” he gave me a hug from behind and whispered in my ear, “You know how you knew about me and Jody for some strange unknown out-of-the-blue reason? Well, you’ve made me happier than I’ve ever been in my entire life. Dunno how you did it, but I’m glad you did. And now is my chance to do the same for you. That’s my cousin Tyler – and , yes, he’s the one for you.” He gave me a pat on the back, a kiss on the cheek as I nervously watched Tyler walk over to me.
This is going to sound crazy, well, maybe not crazy, but just trite. I’m a wedding photographer, an over-educated (undergrad in marketing and master’s in psychology – though I remember nothing from any of those classes) old-maid running around other people’s wedding with a 6-kilo bag of equipment to take pictures of an event that is supposed to mark the first day of a couple’s “happily ever after”.
To be an optimist, no couple I’ve shot for has yet to file for divorce. To be a pessimist, I’ve really only been doing this for a few months.
I left my job at Ballen College as a Career Counsellor after I got engaged to my boyfriend at the time… to plan for our wedding and to get ready to move in with him. For some strange reason, I was more stressed out than I had ever been in my entire life! They make it seem so easy in the movies: after the protagonists overcome all their misunderstandings and realize how much they actually love each other, they madly throw all caution to the wind and get together. Ben and I never had to overcome such adversities – we met, kind of liked each other and started going out. We were very different, certainly, but I learned to appreciate Tchaikovsky, Perlman and Rachmoninov. In the meantime, he learned to bike, swim and play racquet sports. In any case, he proposed, I accepted and he proceeded to drive me up the wall during the planning of our wedding.
I wanted something small, simple and fun. In fact, I would have been thrilled if we could fly to Vegas, do a Rachel and Ross thing with the King. Then, I would throw a party at my favourite Chinese buffet restaurant for our friends. The family banquet back in Hong Kong would be something I’m only willing to suffer for my parents’ and Grandma’s sake.
While dealing with the wedding plans, I realized that I could not stand being idle and focusing only on one project – which felt like a silly project to me in the first place. So I took my side hobby (photography) and the project on hand (my wedding) – married them and started my own business. Eh voila.
For the first two months, I had one wedding per month (for cheap!). As word got around, and I started honing my style and gear, more people wanted me to shoot their weddings.
After the 10th wedding shot, it became very clear to me that I preferred being on THIS side of the veil, rather than the other. Deep in this thought, I accidentally ran a red light and a very large Jeep Grand Cheroke T-boned me. I would love to say that the man who jumped out to yell obscenities at me was actually the one I was meant to be with, or that the very handsome, very young police officer who took my statement with such compassion that I fell in love with him and he with me. No, nothing, no such luck. My car was towed, I was charged with careless driving and my fiancé was very supportive.
In my story, there is no Joan Cusack sidekick, there is no buddy Billy Crystal who pulls me through breakups… just a fiancé that I didn’t really want to marry.
Actually, it wasn’t that I didn’t want to marry him – I just didn’t really want to get married! I just… didn’t… want to… be… in a… relationship!!
“Whoa!” I managed to pull myself out of that reverie before I totaled the rental car my insurance company arranged for me.
Everyone noticed that I was a bit distant after the accident and they were helpful in their own ways… John and Martha took me out for dinner, Samantha called me every other day and Jody, well, Jody helped me make sure that I didn’t burn down my condo. She’d make a better wife than I ever would. What am I thinking? I can’t even take care of myself, how in the world could I ever hope to take care of a family?!
At this point in time, I had to stop the car and breathe deeply to catch some oxygen for the brain, so I pulled over to a Loblaw’s parking lot and sat there in stunned silence.
Did I love him? Yes, I did. Did I want to be with him? No. Wow. I didn’t want him at all. But I love him enough to know him well and know that he should be with someone who would be good for him. Yeowch. That was the strangest feeling I’d ever had in my life! Did I think Jody would be the right person? Weirdly… yes!
I started the engine and drove home; I changed into something very plain and called him. I cooked his favourite dishes and waited for him to come to my place for dinner.
We had a pleasant dinner, per usual. He smiled at the apple pie.
“French vanilla Hagaan Daaz no less! What’s the special occasion?” He looked at my face and stopped smiling. “No. don’t do it. No, not the same way you did with your first boyfriend. Sweetie. No.”
I took a deep breath and took off the 2 carat diamond ring, placed it in his right hand and closed it with both my hands. “There’s someone else that deserves this more. You’d be happier with her.”
“What?! What the hell is going on?”
“Listen sweetie, I love you too much to marry you. You’d be better off with Jody.”
“WHAT?! I don’t understand what is going on here. Seriously. This is not funny.”
“I can’t marry you. You should get to know her better, you know. I think you guys will find that you guys belong together.”
“Why? Did she say something to you? This is ridiculous. I don’t think she thinks of me that way and I sure as hell don’t think of her in that way! What in the world is going on in that head of yours? Oh. Is this what they call cold feet? Are you just freaking out? Sweetie, this too will pass.”
“No. This is not going to pass. Over the past few months, I think I’ve been stressed out because I don’t want this even though I love you to pieces.”
“Small consolation,” he sighed.
“This accident, where I nearly killed myself with my stupidity, made me realize that we can’t do this to each other because life is too short.”
“I know life is short – and I want to spend the rest of mine with you! I thought you wanted the same!”
I shook my head slowly, gave him 2 boxes of his stuff and gently walked him out the door. I picked up my cordless Panasonic phone and speed-dialed Jody’s number.
“Jody dear. Can you do me a favour?”
“Sure babe, you want me to come over?”
“No. I just called off the wedding and need you to –“
“What!?”
“- help me take care of Ben.”
“WHAT?!”
“He’ll be fine, but he’ll need a good friend, and –“
“What!? NO!?”
“- I know you’ll be able to take care of him the way he needs.”
“This is just too weird. What happened? Why? Are you okay? Why? Why?”
“I’ll talk to you about this later. Can you call him? He should be home in about 5 minutes.”
“Wait! Don’t do anything drastic… don’t call anything off yet – I’m sure you guys can sort anything out because you are both such fantastic people.”
“I know hon, but just because we’re both fantastic people doesn’t mean we’re meant to be together. Anyway, please just give him a call and maybe hang out with him for awhile, okay?”
“Sure, anything. You alright? I’d rather come see you.”
“No babe, thanks, but I do need you to take care of Ben for awhile, please.”
“Uh, right then. I’ll call him now.”
“Thanks Jode, nite babe.” I proceeded to pack up my equipment for my assignment the next day. It was for a typical Taiwanese couple – the girl was cutsie and the boy was nerdy. They wanted to have photos ready for the banquet so I got them a deal with the gown rental, the flowers and my photography.
The next day, I buried myself in work; the outdoor shots at the University of Toronto went well.
The indoor shots at my studio took longer than I preferred and the vibrating of my cell phone call day did not help my concentration. I finally pulled the phone out and put in my camera bag. My assistant for this project, John, answered his cell phone, “Hello? Uh, yeah… quite. It’s not going as smoothly as usual… Really? Oh. That might explain…” he glanced at me and walked out of the studio into my office, shutting the door behind him.
The flash went off and the shoot was finally over. The cute couple offered to take me out for dinner, but I declined. I went home and ignored my flashing answering machine. Then I sat down and made a list of all the things I had to do in order to call off all the arrangements with the least amount of disruption.
One year afterwards, I sat at a lovely wedding table, itching to take the photos for Ben and Jody’s wedding. It was a bit strange for everyone involved, but Ben and Jody handled it well. I was slightly annoyed that I wasn’t the photographer, but ended up enjoying the banquet because I knew most of the guests. I refused to look at the photographer though, because I knew that it would just aggravate me.
I got up to pay a visit to the little girls’ room. Some idiot stepped on the tail of my dress and I toppled backwards into his arms.
“Oh my God! I’m so sorry! Are you okay?” he gasped as he righted me.
“Yeah, you caught me. Kudos. Good thing you didn’t rip anything – otherwise I’d be extremely upset and I’d rip… your… pants.” As I looked down at him more closely, “Hey, you’re not dressed up – are you crashing this party?” I know people, you know, I could get you thrown out, you know…”
He smiled and replied, “So lady, how can I buy you off? You bribable?” He leaned in, put his right arm around me to gently guide me out the door.
I smiled at him, shook my head and waved off his help. “Nope! But I tell you what. I’ll head over to the washrooms and if you’re gone by the time I get back, I won’t tell on you!” I turned and walked out laughing.
I freshened up in the washroom, smiled politely at some of Ben’s relatives and went back to my seat. That’s when I saw him again – in front of Ben and Jody’s head table – taking their photos! I could tell that he was good, the timing, the lighting and the framing. He caught some wonderful natural shots of Ben and Jody looking at each other lovingly.
He turned around, saw me watching him and winked at me. That’s when he got me. I had a strange warm feeling at the pit of my stomach. I couldn’t stop looking at him – this must be what they mean by love at first sight? I could not believe how I could allow such irrationality to even enter my mind! I didn’t if he was free, not gay or even intelligent! I watched him laugh, work the crowd and do his job – a total pro.
Ben came up to me, “Hey there sweetie pie, so glad you could come,” he gave me a hug from behind and whispered in my ear, “You know how you knew about me and Jody for some strange unknown out-of-the-blue reason? Well, you’ve made me happier than I’ve ever been in my entire life. Dunno how you did it, but I’m glad you did. And now is my chance to do the same for you. That’s my cousin Tyler – and , yes, he’s the one for you.” He gave me a pat on the back, a kiss on the cheek as I nervously watched Tyler walk over to me.
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